Identity is an individual’s conscious description of who he is (Chapter 15: Self-

concept NA). How one describes oneself is his identity. When we ask people about

who they are, we get an insight of their identity. However, an individual’s identity is

developed over time, constantly evolving, and influenced by self-awareness

(Chapter 15: Self-concept NA).

In being aware or conscious of how one feels, think, behaves and believes at

any said time, self-awareness is being developed. In a group, how a person

responds within it becomes his identity. As a leader or a part of a group, one needs

to reflect on the feelings, thoughts and responses he is creating in it.

For what he does becomes who he is in the group. Self-awareness plays a

vital role in one’s identity. Self-awareness involves how consciously knowing how

the self thinks, feels, believes, and behaves at any specific time. According to

Burkhardt and Nathaniel, we can enhance self-awareness by developing the ability

to step back and look at any situation while being aware of ourselves and how we

are reacting to the situation. A client has to be able to identify one’s personal and

emotional feelings of a situation without judging oneself (Chapter 15: Self-concept


God made each person fearfully and wonderfully (Psalm 139:14). Each

person has a unique identity that sets him apart from others. Knowing this, people

are meant to complement each other towards a common good. Each one is a

master of his own identity. What one says about himself matters.


The Buddha in Dhammapada has a worthy quote, “the thought manifests as the word; the word manifests as the deed; the deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character; So watch the thought and its ways to care; and let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings. As the shadows follow the body, as we think, so we become.”



What one says tells a lot about his identity. One should be careful of what he declares upon himself and to others. In the book, you are what you say. Fernando Flores, a Chilean of great intellect once tried to speak out negative things about his life to his audience. After that, the audience fell into a depressed mood. Fernando then said, “Do you see that your speaking has changed your body, your mood, your physiology, and your possibilities for action? Language has generated a moment of life for you. The action of languaging changed you like a drug” (Budd & Rothestein, 2000, p. 125).

So, what we say about ourselves matters. It shapes our identity and character. It determines who we are in the group. A leader ought to be very careful on how he verbalizes things. He should take note of this since what he says matters most to the group he leads. It shapes how the group will work out. It either leads the group to work or fail.


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On a scale of 1-10, where are you on self-aware, with being the most enlightened?