Where have the real men gone?

There are various reasons for the lack of masculinity in men (and equally, lack of femininity in women, as these situations mirror one another). For example, modern Western culture tells us that it is no longer a man’s job to care for women. Instead, it is now a woman’s job, thus requiring a level of masculinity in women and lowering standards and expectations in men a group at large. Society and media also bombard women with the notion that men “can’t be trusted” or are “too lazy.”  

Today’s society expects women to achieve academically, over-protect themselves, and over-compete. What is the cost? It eliminates connection, trust, and deep vulnerability. This independence expected of women is not just financial but emotional and social as well. The underlying message is that men aren’t good enough, and you can’t trust or rely on them. 

Women Judged According to Men’s Standards, Men Judged According to Men’s Standards

There is also a social judgment on the concept of vulnerability in women and an achievement culture that requires competition among women as if they were men and competing with men in the work environment at large.  

We are directly confronting and mourning the loss of a masculine identity that began to wane a century ago. The gender climate in the twenty-first century presents a far grimmer reality than the previous century.

While women have greater representation and success in the academic and professional worlds, fewer men attend college and pursue academic ambitions.

A 2015 study at Princeton revealed that there is an increase in deaths in middle-aged white men. In fact, it had reached a point “comparable to lives lost in the US AIDS epidemic through mid-2015.” 

The rising suicides and drug overdose indicate a trend for neglected mental health struggles.

The Need for Men to Rise Up

What has happened to men today? A growing tide of resources shows the growing wimpiness and whiny immaturity of males in America. As a result, men are seen as weak, indecisive, fearful, childish, effeminate, inept creatures. These men are no longer certain of their proper role in society. One hears terms like a wuss, sissy, snowflake, and others not suitable for print to describe men, especially younger men.  While this new model of maleness can be ascribed to men of all ages, the evidence shows it predominates among those in their 20s and 30s. 


Source:  Caitlin Mary Fitzpatrick, “Crisis of masculinity in the literature of the lost generation.” San Francisco State University, (May 2016), https://sfsu-dspace.calstate.edu/bitstream/handle/10211.3/173042/AS362016ENGLF58.pdf?sequence=1 (accessed August 24, 2019).