Effects of Having an Absentee Father

Some of the issues one might experience because of absent fathers include:

Needing Constant Reassurance

They may need constant reassurance that people love them and care about them. “Constant” means that the person thinks so low of themselves and is always doubting that people care about them. They may get confused when people are friendly to them, to the point of feeling uncomfortable. Some people learn that they need to do everything for themselves, and if anyone is trying to help, it will come at a price.

Filling the Void with Other Things

Some individuals will try to fill the void they feel with material possessions, some developing hoarding habits, while others may run into financial trouble through overspending.

Fearing Abandonment

Some may have trouble maintaining friendships for fear of being abandoned or even criticized when they make a mistake. They may build walls and compartmentalize their feelings.

Craving Attention or Approval

Some women seek out attention from men because it makes them feel worth something, in contrast with the absent father.

Assuming Everything Is Your Fault

Some people always assume they’ve done something wrong if the attitude or mood of others suddenly goes cold or hostile. It makes them anxious, and they blame themselves even if they aren’t guilty of anything. They automatically assume that when people are upset that it is their fault.

Clinging to Relationships

Because they are afraid of being abandoned, these individuals will cling tightly to their relationships, even new ones. This suffocating behavior may jeopardize their connections where the other person must find space apart from the clingy individual.

Fearing Meaningful Intimacy

These people may even avoid deep relationships, moving quickly from one partner to the next, forming superficial connections with many people, and then abandoning them quickly. Some may even go after unavailable partners, such as those already in a marriage or relationship because this absolves them in case it doesn’t work out.

Having Difficulty with Other People’s Emotions

Because they aren’t in touch with their own emotions, these individuals will have difficulty dealing with other people’s feelings. Sometimes, seeing other people express strong emotions, even positive ones, can make them jealous, upset, and miserable.

Struggling with Authority Figures

Because they never formed a meaningful relationship with their father, these individuals can struggle to interact with authority figures, such as at work or in school. They may be unable to see authority figures as anything but cruel and meanspirited.

Overcompensating in the Way You Parent

Other people cope with an absent father oppositely in that they end up spoiling their children and giving in to every one of the children’s whims. This could result in spoiled kids, and discipline could become an issue.

Being a Perfectionist

Because these persons never experienced their father’s pride in their accomplishments, they may unable to find fulfillment in themselves later in life. This could lead to a destructive form of perfectionism, where nothing is good enough. The individual focuses only on all the negative aspects and is blind to all the positive accomplishments.